Wanda Sykes Quotes
-
I have problems with YouTube and things like that, when you catch it mid production. If I'm doing a show and I'm working on a bit and someone's there with a phone, they record it and put it online - it's not the finished product.
→ -
Men don't hear women.
→ -
Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. I hope his kidneys fail.
→ -
The first time onstage, a light went on. 'OK, this is my thing. I'm comfortable here. This is my thing.'
→ -
Mostly everything gets worse before it gets better.
→ -
I felt like I was being attacked, personally attacked - our community was attacked. Now, I gotta get in their face. I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to be a black woman. And I'm proud to be gay.
→ -
There's times when I'm really shy, so these roles that I get to play, they're how I would love to really be. And that's why I love doing stand-up, because it gives me the freedom to say what I really want to say. I think that's why it's my favorite thing to do.
→ -
When my parents send me emails the first 3 are blank.
→ -
I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too.
→ -
And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.
→ -
If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.
→ -
It's easier to rip somebody to shreds while you're making them laugh.
→ -
I'm going to leave The Wanda Sykes Show and try to get her job because $5 million ain't too bad!
→ -
I sat down and wrote some jokes and went to the talent show, got up on stage, fell in love with it and never turned back.
→ -
When I am outside at night by myself every person turns into a pedophile. So I tend to walk a little faster than usual and then I sprint.
→ -
I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing.
→ -
I'm finally just relaxed and comfortable with who I am.
→ -
People say, 'Well don't you regret not having kids?' And I go, 'No, not really.' And then if they keep asking, I always say this, 'Well, you know, maybe I'll adopt.' But I don't mean that. It's just something I say to make me sound like a nicer person.
→ -
I'm like, If you do something dumb, I'll write about it. If you put something out there, to me it's like you're kind of asking for it.
→ -
Once you start making money, you can be an ass. But I am not an ass. I'm too lazy, that takes a lot of energy.
→ -
I'm a comedian so I'm not waiting around for someone to write a part for me. I don't have to wait for somebody else to create my next job; I have the ability to basically write my own ticket.
→ -
It's not until you develop your own voice, your own persona onstage that you become your own comic, who you really are.
→ -
That's proof right there that men and women are on different levels because men can watch two women together and that's a turn-on. It doesn't work the same way for us, does it, ladies? No, uh-uh - it doesn't work the same. You ask any woman in here her sexual fantasy, and I will bet you a million dollars that it's NOT to go home and catch your man bent over with some big, burly guy standing behind him.
→ -
I knew something was wrong with the economy when the shampoo girl at my salon closed on a six bedroom house.
→ -
But I understand that relationship; I understand how the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationship has so many conflicts because it's so forced.
→ -
What gets me is when celebrities aren't allowed to have an opinion on anything political. There's the whole 'Shut up and sing' thing.
→ -
A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.
→ -
It's hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.
→ -
That's what they want: two women. Fellas, I think that's a bit lofty. Because, come on, think about it - if you can't satisfy that one woman, why do you want to piss off another one? Why have two angry women in the bed with you at the same time? And think about it - you know how much you hate to talk after sex, imagine having two women just nagging you to death.
→ -
Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal.
→
Related Authors
-
Garry Shandling Comedian -
Rosie O'Donnell Comedian -
Queen Latifah Singer-songwriter -
Daryl Hannah Film actress -
George Lopez Comedian -
John Leguizamo Actor -
Julia Louis-Dreyfus Actress -
Denis Leary Actor -
Ray Romano Actor -
Keke Palmer Actress -
Wanda Jackson Singer -
J. B. Smoove Actor -
Chris Rock Comedian -
Virginia Madsen Actress -
Sean William Scott Actor -
Johnny Simmons Actor -
Camryn Manheim Actress -
Jesse Tyler Ferguson Actor -
Josh Peck Actor -
Jane Fonda Actress