Jim Norton Quotes About Funny
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No periods. If you sneeze, the carpet's ruined.
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You have the sex appeal of Norman Fell.
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While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.
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I don't pull out because... it's not my problem.
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I'd rather hug Magic Johnson after he rolled around in barbed wire.
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I had AIDS, but I beat it with Advil.
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I couldn't get laid with a sitcom and a rifle.
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Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.
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Two men spit in their hands, help each other out, then laugh about it later. Just to be silly.
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What's the name of the birth defect you have, trampled by a horse during the 2nd trimester?
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God, do I hate my little fat tits. You ever pinch your little meat tits and wish you were dead? You ever just stand naked in the mirror. "You little fat-titted mediocre failure!" You ever do that for 3 hours on New Year's Eve.
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And while all of your friends are grieving at your wake, I hope the sprinkler system turns on and sprays them with AIDS, hepatitis C and liquified genital warts. And while they're all running out and crying, I hope one of them slips and accidentally molests a child.
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For the record, I hate skiing... and if you get killed doing it, GOOD.
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That looks like something out of the dumpster of planned parenthood.
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I hope you slip in a puddle of AIDS and crack your head open
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I wish I had AIDS so I could bite somebody.
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They don't tend to feature the kind of vaginas I like in adult films. I tend to like a thick, heavy pussy - the kind of pussy that looks like it just smoked an exploding cartoon cigar.
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What a coincidence, they both go to College and I'm a rapist!
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I don't wear rubbers cause you can't catch it twice.
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There's a trench coat and a tragedy in your future.
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I don't have kids. That's why I leave it in the dumper or in the mouth, because I hate kids.
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I hope you accidentally drink leukemia at a picnic.
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That's an interesting accent you got there. Are you from stroke-victim?
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I hope you have a miscarriage on a Walmart floor and have the baby's room already decorated.
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You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living.
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I had a three year relationship end. Ever have somebody just freak out on you in a relationship? Things are going great. After three years she wants to run out and find a guy that doesn't hit her.
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