Humorous Golf Quotes
The best sayings about Humorous Golf that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
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Swing hard in case you hit it.
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They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated than that.
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Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
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Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose
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I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.
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The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law.
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Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
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Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
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Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.
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I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.
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There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
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I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
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The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
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If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
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Golf seems to me an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dogs out.
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You can talk to a fade but a hook won't listen.
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After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
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I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
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You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
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It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
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I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
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If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
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Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.
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I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
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If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
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The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
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If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.
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Top Authors
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Jacob Neusner Academic -
James Belushi Actor -
J. D. Sedding Architect -
James A. Belasco Author -
James Emery White Author -
James DeGale Boxer
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Jaime Sin Cardinal -
Jacques Pepin Chef -
Jacobus Henricus van 't Hoff Chemist -
Jacinto Benavente Dramatist -
Jacob Weisberg Journalist -
Jacob Bronowski Mathematician -
James B. Weaver Member of the United States House of Representatives -
Jack Lovelock Olympic athlete -
J. M. W. Turner Painter -
Jack Gelber Playwright -
J. Milton Hayes Poet -
Jake LaMotta Professional Boxer -
James Goldman Screenwriter -
Jackie Evancho Singer -
Ivan E. Coyote Writer -
Jack D. Forbes Writer -
James Geary Writer
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