Jean Kerr Quotes
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Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.
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Being on a ship is something like being pregnant. You can sit there and do absolutely nothing but stare at the water and have the nicest sense that you are accomplishing something.
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Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
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I'm not so sure it's so civilized to be civilized all the time.
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To me having a party is something like having a baby. The fact that you got through the last one alive is not somehow sufficiently reassuring now.
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It has been explained to me that toys are packaged in shards, to be assembled by the middle-aged and butter-fingered, because this makes it easier for the shippers. ... If they had to spend hours and hours putting handlebars onto bicycles ... they would repent their ways and deliver something that looked like a rocking horse and not like the result of a small street accident.
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It takes at least one to make a marriage.
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I think if you can write a play, or produce a play, the first step toward success [is] if people don't want to kill themselves in the lobby. Now there must be four or five other steps, but that's the first.
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Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.
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If you can keep your head when all about are losing theirs, it's just possible that you haven't grasped the situation.
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I don't want to see the uncut version of anything.
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Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them.
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I know all about improvisation and the free-form that mirrors the chaos of our time, but I do like to feel that the playwright has done some work before I got there.
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... it's impossible to register any emotion without using some muscle which, in time, will produce a wrinkle. ... By the time she is thirty, a starlet has been carefully taught to smile like a dead halibut. The eyes widen, the mouth drops open, but the eye muscles are never involved.
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I was always the last woman on the last down elevator as the store was closing.
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Movie actors are just ordinary, mixed-up people - with agents.
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I once truly believed that if I had to stand in line for twenty minutes to have a package gift-wrapped it actually gave the recipient more pleasure.
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Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?
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Dearer to me than the evening star A Packard car A Hershey bar Or a bride in her rich adorning Dearer than any of these by far Is to lie in bed in the morning
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One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind.
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When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales,' they don't necessarily think of chairs.
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A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.
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There is this to be said about having money. You get rejected by a higher class of people.
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If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out.
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Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.
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You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.
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The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.
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Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.
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Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful if some manufacturer would make a toy as tough, as staunch, as hard to crack open as the carton it comes in!
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An actor can remember his briefest notice well into senescence and long after he has forgotten his phone number and where he lives.
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