W. C. Fields Quotes About Comedy
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
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The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
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Never give a sucker an even break.
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I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
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