Jay Leno Quotes About Past
-
I flew this past weekend. I went through airport security and said to the guy, 'Is everything okay?' He said, 'You might want to have that mole on your ass checked out.' That seems a little personal to me.
→ -
Nike actually has a pair of shoes called Air-Turbulence. Try getting past airline security wearing those. Might as well call them Air-Osama.
→ -
Is it me or is Bush going everywhere Kerry goes? So far in the past week, President Bush has followed John Kerry to Davenport, Iowa; New Mexico; Las Vegas; Los Angeles; and he follows him to Portland, Oregon. The only place he never followed John Kerry was Vietnam.
→ -
Bill Clinton is the only ex-president who hasn't planned his own funeral. But, in his defense, in the past he has said he wants to be buried next to Hillary. I guess he figures he never slept next to her when they were alive, might as well try it now that they're dead.
→ -
The White House is defending President Obama's sports activities over the past week, saying that everyone needs leisure time. Thanks to these economic policies, 9.5 percent of Americans have all the leisure time they need.
→ -
Those two pilots that sped 150 miles past their Minneapolis destination have been suspended. They got suspended because they were looking at their laptops instead of flying the plane. Think about this -- everybody else on the plane has to turn off their laptops except for the people flying the plane.
→
Related Authors
-
Arsenio Hall Actor -
Conan O'Brien Talk show host -
Craig Ferguson Talk show host -
Mavis Leno Philanthropist -
Jeremy Clarkson Broadcaster -
Bill Cosby Comedian -
Stephen Colbert Satirist -
Tim Allen Comedian -
Adam Carolla Comedian -
David Letterman Talk show host -
Jimmy Fallon Television host -
Bill Maher Comedian -
Jerry Seinfeld Comedian -
Ellen DeGeneres Comedian -
Jon Stewart Satirist -
Johnny Carson Host -
Don Rickles Comedian -
Larry King Radio host -
Steve Martin Actor -
Joan Rivers Television Personality