Funny Sarcastic Quotes
The best sayings about Funny Sarcastic that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
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The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
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Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
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If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.
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Our national drug is alcohol. We tend to regard the use of any other drug with special horror.
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I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.
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Don't take life too seriously.
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Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?
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Not enough gets said about the importance of abandoning crap.
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If you think research is expensive, try disease!
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I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
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I wish all teenagers can filter through songs instead of turning to drugs and alcohol.
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I don't even drink! I can't stand the taste of alcohol. Every New Year's Eve I try one drink and every time it makes me feel sick. So I don't touch booze - I'm always the designated driver.
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There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled.
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
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Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!
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Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
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Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
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Avoid using cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs as alternatives to being an interesting person.
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Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
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He must be very ignorant for he answers every question he is asked.
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I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.
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As we celebrate Recovery Month, it is time for Congress to knock down the barriers to treatment and recovery for 26 million Americans suffering the ravages of alcohol and drug addiction.
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Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
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As women slowly gain power, their values and priorities are reshaping the agenda. A multitude of studies show that when women control the family funds, they generally spend more on health, nutrition, and education - and less on alcohol and cigarettes.
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A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed.
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I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
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Top Authors
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Cy Twombly Painter -
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Dan Kildee U.S. Representative -
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